(From Michelle)

Jon and I spent yesterday at the attorney’s office working through the process of getting permanent legal custody of the Vince and Isabella. It was incredibly draining, but also very encouraging. The attorneys are optimistic about the kids being placed with us.

Cleanup of the house continues, but we have divided up duties among us, so those of us who are struggling with being at the house don’t need to keep going back there. It’s incredibly difficult to be in Debbie’s home—impossible to deny the reality of what has happened when surrounded by the physical reality of her life. The house was a surprise to us. There was no evidence of the crime, and the normalcy of what we found was unsettling. Several years ago, when the family lived in Richfield, Carlos beat Debbie (and threatened to kill her), and we cleaned up the mess of blood and disarray. At that time the house revealed the chaos they were living, but this time nothing. The grief hits me hard when I’m there.

We had Animal Control pick up their two cats and ferret and had a moment of hilarity when another cat appeared right after Animal Control left, and Aimee wondered if we had sent the wrong cat away. We’re dealing with the cars, bills, etc.

We met with the funeral home yesterday and made arrangements for her viewing and cremation. Her older children have been very involved in the planning, and everyone feels good about the arrangements. The service will be at 1:00 tomorrow (Wed.), and the viewing for immediate family only on Thursday (tentatively, because the Medical Examiner has not released her body yet—frustrating).

The kids are remarkable. The older children are coping with incredible grace. The two younger children have accepted the current situation of being with our family and are playful and sweet. We have absolutely fallen in love with them! Jon and I are taking them to zoo today to get them out of the hotel. There’s plenty of heartbreak with them too. Isabella continues to talk about her daddy stabbing her mommy and that now they don’t have a daddy anymore, only a mommy. They believe that Debbie is at the hospital. Vince doesn’t talk about the incident at all. Isabella also asked why we came and if we didn’t want them to go to their daddy and get stabbed by him. What these children have experienced is beyond comprehension. There will be tough times ahead for all of us.

On a positive note, the support we’ve received from all of you is stunning. We requested declarations of support for us as parents, and they came pouring in this morning. We may need to reread them in the future to remind ourselves that we CAN do this. We’ve also received so many offers of help. Thank you all so much!! We feel very nurtured and supported.

We love you all,
Jon & Michelle
_____

From: Jon Freeland
Sent: Monday, April 21, 2008 10:25 AM
Subject: Update from Seattle

Hi everyone,

We are surviving here one day at a time. We all remarked last tonight that it feels like we’ve been here for a week now, although it’s only been 36 hours. The days have been long with lots of details to work through, but the busy work actually helps keep us focused and not dwelling to much on the mess.

We spent the afternoon yesterday with Brandon, Emily, and Olivia, Debbie’s oldest kids from here first marriage. You all may remember them from their trips to the lake with us. They have been living with their Dad in Tacoma for the last several years, because of the volatility of Deb’s home. Emily (14) is struggling the most as she was the closest with Debbie and had lived with her sporadically over the years. Brandon (17) is a senior in HS and has had limited time with Deb and Carlos; he’s doing well but is holding in a lot of anger. Olivia (11) is a very sweet and caring girl and has had a more limited exposure to this household. She’s just going with the flow and hanging in there.

Late yesterday afternoon, Michelle and I were awarded temporary custody of Vince (5 yrs almost 6) and Isabella (4 yrs). They don’t know that Debbie died yet; we’ve decided to give them a day or so to get comfortable with us and then will break the news. Isabella witnessed the stabbing and told the foster family that “daddy stabbed mommy”. She also told me last night that “daddy is in jail; he told me he’s going to be in jail forever and isn’t coming back”. Wow. Vince was also around the scene, didn’t see the actual stabbing, but saw Debbie lying on the ground outside after it happened. Such a horrific scene. Even with all of this, they warmed up to us immediately and are making plans to travel to Minnesota. They both cuddled right up with us in bed—laughing, and wanting their backs, arms, legs, and stomachs scratched. I guess our bed time routine will be extended a bit!

They are still under the oversight of the Washington State Department of Social and Health Services (Child Protection Services), that initially placed then in a foster home Saturday morning. Once we passed all of the background checks and screening processes, they gave us temporary custody. We are working to hire an attorney today to help us with the process of securing Permanent Legal Custody, which hopefully will happened in the next three to four days. We need the permanent custody before taking them home. At this point, we are being told that we should get permanent custody.

We are busy dealing with a house full of stuff. No one will be coming home, so we need to get it empty and cleaned up (thank God, there isn’t any evidence of the tragedy). We took the older kids over there yesterday, so they can get their belongings out. Everyone is struggling with being at the house. It’s so tough to see her home and belongings without her there. Debbie was obviously trying very hard to make changes in her life. So sad she was paralyzed by her addictions and didn’t get there.

The family is gathering together: Del and Kathy traveled with us Saturday; Aimee (Michelle’s sister) also flew in on Saturday; Sid came out yesterday (he really wanted to be here); Steve (Michelle’s brother) arrived yesterday afternoon from Georgia; and Tyler (Aimee’s significant dude) is landing this morning. It’s been great to have everyone together. The funeral is hopefully on Wednesday. Del, Kathy, and Aimee are working to make the arrangements this morning while Michelle and I are working on the custody issues.

My amazing wife is struggling at times, but overall is so strong and keeping the family together. I watched her last night take these kids into her arms last night with unconditional love; it was an amazing sight. Even though the kids will struggle, together we will be strong.

I appreciate your prayers, love, and tears. We’re going to be fine and are excited to give Vince and Isabelle a safe and loving home. Feel free to send this update out to anyone you who may be interested.

Lastly, we do appreciate all of your emails and notes. Although Michelle and I may not have time to respond to them right now, we are receiving and reading them all.

Love you tons,
Jon & Michelle