Making our way in Minneapolis

It's Saturday evening, and we've made it through our second bedtime at home with all the kids. Bedtime used to take about 20 minutes for us, but so far, it's more like two hours. Vince and Isabella aren't used to a regular bedtime and are used to sleeping with Debbie. Add a new home, new family, and understandable fears, and they are practically sleep-resistant. It's a regular parade, with kids roaming from bed to bed, but Jon is laying down the law (as we all knew he would). Tomorrow, we're devising a bedtime routine, out of self-defense as much as anything.

Jon and Isabella both have strep throat, and Eli announced tonight that his throat hurts. We're keeping our fingers crossed that it doesn't hit all of us.

Jon's parents, Glenn and Joanne, who watched Eli and Annika while we were gone, have extended their stay until Tuesday in order to help us out. We're so grateful for their help.

We had a visit from a friend who brought several bags of toys to welcome the kids (courtesy of Guys' Poker Night winnings). He and his wife also loaned us their minivan and brought a couple meals. We're still learning what all went on at home while we were in Seattle, but when we arrived, beds and dressers had been set up for Vince and Isabella, including beautiful bedding. While we were gone, friends helped with our kids and brought meals, clothes, bedding, mattresses, a trundle bed, a dresser...it's just amazing.

We spent the day trying to organize the mudroom, adding shelves and coat hooks to accommodate the extra shoes, boots, coats, backpacks, etc. We're going to try to go through one room a day, purging and organizing. We already felt crowded before the family grew by two, so we also met with a realtor today to discuss options. Who knows what'll happen with that. We love where we live and don't want to leave our friends and community, so we're trying to think creatively about housing options.

Tonight, Vince and Jon had an interesting conversation. Vince always starts his questions by saying, "Hey, I have a question to tell you." Funny. So here's how it went:

Vince: Don't you know that guests only stay a short time?
Jon: Sure.
Vince: Then why did you call us guests?
Jon: I don't think I called you guests.
Vince: Yes, you told your kids that we were guests.
Jon: Oh, I didn't mean that you were guests. I was telling them to treat you like guests, so that you would feel comfortable in your new home. I'm sorry I confused you. You're not a guest. Okay? How long will you and Isabella be staying with us?
Vince: Forever?
Jon: Exactly. Forever and ever.

It's bittersweet watching these two try to make sense of things. It's also tough on Eli and Ani, since everything has changed for them too. We feel so protective of them all! And taking care of them helps get through the days. My mom is struggling with being home now with nothing to do and no one around. It's so hard to be alone with your grief. My very good friend sent me another Mary Oliver poem (I'm sure to be getting an email from Ms. Olivers' attorneys if I don't stop posting her work, but it's just so right. So sorry and thank you Mary Oliver!). Anyway, I'm posting it here for my mom.

Heavy
-Mary Oliver

The time
I thought I could not
go any closer to grief
without dying

I went closer
and I did not die.
Surely God had His hand in this,

as well as friends,
Still, I was bent,
and my laughter,
as the poet said,

was nowhere to be found.
Then said my friend Daniel
(brave even among lions),
"It's not the weight you carry

but how you carry it--
books, bricks, grief--
it's all in the way
you embrace it, balance it, carry it

when you cannot, and would not,
put it down."
So I went practicing.
Have you noticed?

Have you heard the laughter
that comes, now and again,
out of my startled mouth?

How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world
that are kind, and maybe

also troubled--
roses in the wind,
the sea geese on the steep wave,
a love
to which there is no reply?

Sweet dreams,
Michelle